Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
