The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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