I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
