Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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