Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
