member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
