The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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