Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
