For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
