You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize