He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
