I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
