dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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