You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Randomize
