if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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