I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
