CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
