i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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