google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
