Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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