Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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