you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
