Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
