The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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