Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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