True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize