last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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