Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize