My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
