You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
