Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
