real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just made out with a guy for $7.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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