He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
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I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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