WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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