On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
