Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
