hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i now understand why vodka
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
