Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
