You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
