I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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