Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
