man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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