We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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