By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
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that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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