Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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