All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
