I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
