I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
