i don't like sucking hair
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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