she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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