you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
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I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
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Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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