I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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