if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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