i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
