and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
