we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
