we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
