You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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