That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
