WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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