ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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