Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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