I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
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I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
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I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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