You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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