he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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