This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
