I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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